One Hell of a Christmas
by clover66
Summary: Fat suits, sex, and Santa. What more can you ask for? Style


It's summer and im writing a Christmas fic :D I just had to get this out! I was getting the giggles all day when I was thinking of this. Italics is the narrator in the story. Enjoy

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_Ah, Christmas time in South Park. The time of the year when getting presents is all that really matters. Every kid refuses to believe it but there is a downside to presents. Somebody has to buy them. _

" I can't believe im doing this." Stan grumbled while adjusting his belt. " All so I can buy my friends a couple of lousy Christmas gifts!" He took one last glance in the mirror and waddled his way out of the mall's changing room.

_You see kids, Stan is going to be Santa Clause this year. He is going to wear a hot fat suit all day long and have ugly kids sit on his lap. It sure is a good thing Stan isn't a Pedophile._

Stan glanced at the clock. He had exactly one hour before the kids showed up. " At least this job pays well." He muttered. As he sat on his chair he begin to grow thirsty. Very thirsty. Stan hauled his fat ass off his chair and one step at a time, made his way to the food court. Stan huffed and puffed as he walked up to the juice stand, straining to haul his gelatinous body through the maze of chairs and food.

_Stan or should I say santa happily sipped on his juice as he made his way over to the gates of hell, Santa's Playhouse._

" Stan! over here!" A voice said. Stan looked up to see his favorite red head running towards him. " Kyle, what are you doing here?" Stan asked, surprised and equally embarrassed to see his boyfriend. " My Stan don't you look sexy in a fat suit." Kyle grinned while playfully tugging on Stan's fake beard. " If I wasn't Jewish I might just have to give you a kiss."

" You can always do more than that you know." Stan smirked, delighted to be having this conversation with his lover. Kyle laughed and squeezed on Stan's fake tummy." I just might have to take you up on that."

_Not only is peace on earth and goodwill for all in the air but hormones as well. Feisty boys now are they?_

Stan laughed as Kyle dragged him to the "Santa quarters only." Stan let out a sigh as a familiar hand begin to softly stroke him through the fabric. " Well what do you know. These pants have a zipper in them." Kyle remarked while exploring Stan's lower regions. " Santa has to piss to Kyle." Stan replied.

Kyle begin to giggle as he got down on his knees ready to engulf Santa's meat. Stan moaned as Kyle skillfully begin to suck his dick.

" Oh my God what's santa doing!" a shrill voice screamed. Both Stan and Kyle snapped up to see a fat kid gawking at Santa.

" Santa's reproducing, now get the hell out of here kid." Stan ordered, angry to be disturbed.

Kyle laughed as he zipped Stan back up. I think it's time for you to get out there and entertain some kids. " God dammit" Stan yelled as he walked towards the mass of screaming kids.

_Stan has got himself into a Christmas pickle. All because he cares about his friends. How sweet._

One by one, kids waited in line to sit on Santa's lap. Stan's face was beginning to hurt from all the smiling he was forced to do. Stan gritted his teeth. He was going to punch the next little kid who said they wanted a pony for Christmas.

Stan needed a break. He put the line on hold as he made his way to the bathroom. " Haha look at Santa! What a fag!" Stan turned around to find the insulter. Right in front of him was ( I swear to all that is holy) the son of Eric Cartman. God help us. He was as fat as hell and had a mouth that made every mother cringe. " What a douche." the boy yelled out while proceeding to take another lick out of his double fudge ice cream cone.

Stan had a long day. Stan had to have nasty little kids sit on his lap. Stan was not in a mood to be toyed with. " What did you say to me you little shit?" Stan asked walking towards the kid.

"Don't even think about touching me fag." the little boy sneered. " Or I'll just go find the mall security and say you tried to touch me."

He had Stan there. Suddenly the little boy walked up to Stan and punched him in the nuts. " Oh my God!" Stan gasped while holding on to his now very tender package. With a sigh of defeat he made his way back over to the waiting line.

At exactly 7:00 p.m the last snotty nose brat hopped off of Stan's lap. Stan was ready to get this fucking suit off.

" Looks like you've hade a long day." Kyle remarked while walking up to his lap abused boyfriend. " You can say that again." Stan grumbled, too tired to get out of the chair. But even after a long day of work Stan was ready to get it on with Kyle. What a trooper.

" Where's are my ho-ho-ho's at?" Stan asked with a grin. Kyle rolled his eyes and smiled but remained rooted to his spot. " I see one little ho over there who's not listening to Santa." Stan remarked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Kyle.

"Come sit on Santa's lap." Stan asked, taking on the whole Santa persona.

" I think im a little to old to sit on Santa's lap." Kyle replied, running his hand through his curls.

" Nonsense, your never too old to sit on Santa's lap." Stan patted his lap, gesturing Kyle over.

Kyle laughed and straddled his waiting boyfriend. " Lets see what this Santa can do." Kyle whispered in a seductive voice. Kyle swooped down and captured Stan lips with his own.

Then they proceeded to have hot sex.

The End.

Don't you just love Christmas time :D I know I sure do after writing this fic.

Reviews are appreciated.


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